November 5th, 2009


Jennifer Rodgers

Beat Your Lover Dead

Jennifer Rodgers, genius, charmer, hottie.

Old people love cards. Anyone over 70 wants you to send them a card. A holiday card, a thank you card, whatever - they just want that card.

Sometimes I've wondered, why do old people love cards so much? I mean, you can call them and thank them for whatever they sent you, you wish them a happy holidays in person, but anyone with a grandma knows that's not enough. There has got to be a card and it's gotta come through the mail or you don't love them.

Why is that? It's seems odd and unreasonable. Isn't seeing someone in person better than a card.

No. No it's not. And I'll tell you why.

Now, I can't really tell you how I learned this, or the person I found it out from will get in some pretty serious spiritual shit, but every time an old person gets a card - a personal, from a friend or family member card - they get a deferment from Death.

This is how it works (apparently, this all get's explained to you when you turn 70): You get a card from a friend or family member below 70, and when Death shows up to collect you, you can hand Death the thank you or holiday card, and Death will give you more time on this Earth.

How much time? Well, the individual I spoke to was hazy on this - there is some kind of equation that I don't really understand and it's all about your age, divided by the month and some kind of positioning of the stars, the length of the note in the card - I don't really get it, but whatever the situation, you get get more time. You run out of cards to hand Death, you run out of time.

You can't send a card to another senior to get this benefit, you can't send cards to yourself, and you can't directly demand a card. You can, however, remark about how it's common courtesy to send a card, you can tell other family members that you are mad that you didn't get a card, and you can generally act in a passive aggressive way to get a card, but you can't outright demand one, or it loses it's power.

Which brings me around to Jennifer Rodgers and her online art shop!

Jennifer Rodgers makes greeting cards. And unlike the cards you might find in your local drug store, these cards have personality, have a offbeat charm to them which makes them more unique. I always keep a stash of her "Thank You" notes on hand just in case I need to thank someone for something. (I'm lucky enough in my life that I often do.)

You can look at her charming selection here:

Send a card. Save a life.