June 20th, 2008


Day 218: Don't Get Around Much Anymore

Day 218: Don't Get Around Much Anymore
Photo: Available

Yes, there was a time in my life, before she met you, that I fucked your girlfriend. But that time is over. Let’s face it, I haven’t fucked your girlfriend in a while. She and I, well, we had a good thing going, but she’s seriously into you now and I’ve found my life-partner and our schedules are really intense and the fucking? The fucking is just time we don’t have. I’m not going to be fucking anyone’s girlfriend for the foreseeable future. I shall fuck your girlfriend no more forever.

I was going through my clothes, looking to see what we could get rid of and I came upon this t-shirt. While appropriate for that particular time in my life, when I did fuck your girlfriend, it is no longer who I am or what I do. No, that time is over.

So I was about to throw it into the goodwill bag when I thought that if it did go to goodwill, it would probably get tossed into the bin, rather than offend the sensibilities of the good customers of the good-will. And lets face it, this t-shirt deserves to go to a nice girlfriend fucker. This t-shirt deserves to be worn. I have only had cause to wear it three times, and it deserves far more than that. It deserves a loving, girlfriend-fucking home.

If you are that girlfriend-fucking lady, or if you want a gift for that girlfriend fucking lady, shoot ten dollars my way for shipping and I’ll send it to you. It’s 100% cotton, American Apparel, size M/OS, whatever that means. I can’t send it to goodwill, knowing they’ll just make it garbage. It’s seen a few good times and I want to send it to someone who can show it some more.