April 11th, 2008


Nine Reasons Why My Current Boss May Be A Pulp Superhero

Day 150: Shade
Day 150: Shade
Photo: Available

Nine Reasons Why My Current Boss May Be A Pulp Superhero

1. Over accomplishment: At the age of 41, my boss has tenure at an Ivy League university, teaches a class one day a week and is the director of an international center that specializes in helping big companies save money and the environment. In itself, this is nothing, but add it to the other reasons, and a picture of a pulp hero starts to emerge.

2. Late Nights, Late Days: He’s never in before 11am, likely because he is resting after a night of fighting Crime.

3. Mysterious Past: It is rumored in the department that he is actually from Jordanian royalty, a prince who has run away from his wealthy family to make his own way in the world. Why did he leave? Who is his family? A google search only reveals links in Arabic. . .

4. Secretly Wealthy: See mysterious past. . .

5. Master of Many Languages: The Languages I Know My Boss Speaks: English, Arabic, Chinese.

6. College Professor: While not in itself an indication of pulp hero status, it is a preferred job of the cape and masks. They love any job with a flexible schedule.

7. Frequent Lateness and Quick Exits: For no reason (no other conflicts on his schedule) my boss will sometimes be late to his appointments and then rush in the door, hair tossled, out of breath. Also, sometimes he has to rush out of the room for no understandable reason, with excuses about a meeting he has to go to that doesn’t exist on his calendar.

8. Mild Mannered Exterior: Always genial and nice to everyone. Easy to smile, easy to laugh.

8. Looks: My boss is tall, handsome (in a nerdy David Tenant sort of way) always well dressed in a long trench coat and Clark Kent style glasses. He towers over the people around him, but due to his Mild Manner Exterior, it’s never in a intimidating, looming sort of way. Although it wouldn’t take much work to make it so . . .

And, the latest reason, as of yesterday:

9. Super Hearing: Yesterday, my boss asks me to make a meeting between him and another guy, let’s call him John. My boss gives me the date he wants the meeting. Then he walks across the room and gets into a discussion with someone else. I ask John if the date my boss suggested will fit into his schedule. “It’s fine.” John tells me, and then leans in and whispers “Not like I have a choice.”

A couple minutes later, my boss finishes up his discussion and is leaving the room. I ask him if he got my e-mail about having Monday off. He says he did. I ask him if it’s okay.

“It’s okay.” He says, and then looks at me and John with a smile “Not like I have a choice.”

How did he hear the whisper from across the room while he was talking to someone else? Superhearing. It’s the only explanation.

If Reason Number 10 pops up today, I’ll be sure to let you know.

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