December 11th, 2007


Day Thirty: Night at the Barbary

The former Dominatrix leaned down from her high heels and said “So you’re the contortionist?”

“Yes!” I say, trying to be enthusiastic. I want these people to like me. As someone who is a freak, I feel I have to try extra hard, even when I’m with other freaks

“Are you into fetish stuff?” she asks

“Sure!” I say. I am, sort of. See, for me, “fetish” covers a huge range of things, everything from fashion to fucking latex vagina’s implanted in plastic feet. What I’m getting at here, is that it’s a range of activities. When in doubt, I always say yes. I use this rule with almost every activity in my life. When in doubt, my answer is yes.

“Because I’m into rope binding.” She says. “And I would love to work with a contortionist.”

I realize I have finally met The One. Ever since I’ve started contorting I’ve bumped into assholes who imply that there must be freaky stuff going on in my bed. My significant others have always gotten a lot of winks and nudges as if anyone besides my fiancée has ever even tried to do anything interesting with me. These guys seem to imply that if they got me into bed, it sure would be a lot of kinky fun. I am certain that these assholes would have no idea what to do with me besides slobber and try to have sex in the missionary position. This woman though, Athena, former dominatrix, current MC of the Hellcat girls, she sized me up in two minutes and seemed to have about a billion ideas on what to do with me. That was exciting, to have someone look at you with a creative hunger.

I arrived at the empty club at around 7pm. My performance didn’t take place until about 11pm. By that time, the place was full, but not packed, if that makes any sense. There was room to move around but not without brushing arms with other people. There were clowns and a show with ukes and, of course, the Hellcat Girls.

This was my first night performing with the Hellcat Girls. I’ve seen them before and I was impressed with their performance, so when the opportunity came up to join up, I jumped at it. Candy Mayhem (my new boss) calls me a Hellcat Kitten, due to my new status to the group.

My act went well. Unfortunately, since a lot of what I do is on the floor, it was hard for people to see me where I was. However, those that did see me, seemed to love it. I got a lot of positive feedback after the show. My costume is problematic though. I need a costume I won’t fall out of that doesn’t hinder movement. Since I’m a contortionist, that movement is pretty extensive, which means that the only costume I can really do is a one-piece jumpsuit of some kind. Bikini’s fall off. Corsets hinder movement. Skirts flip up. Shirts come untucked. Believe me, I’ve tried different options. I always come back to the one-piece jumpsuit. Most outfits, like most lovers, just can’t handle me. I need something strong and flexible that won’t fall off. It’s the same issue with my hair. Any cute style I try will be destroyed when I stand on my head or am pressing myself to the floor.

Candy suggested having a walk-around outfit and then changing into my contortion stuff. This, I think, is a good compromise. It means I can wear cute burlesque girl outfits and contort, though not at the same time.

After the performance, at 12am, I went into the photo booth at the Barbary and took these photos. They have a photo booth on site! I couldn’t resist that.

Day Thirty: Night At The Barbary

This is just a scan. You can purchase the original, one and only print of this photo strip for thirty dollars. If you buy them, I’ll send them to you with a handwritten note about my first night performing with the Hellcat Girls.

I’m performing again this Friday, the 14th at the Troc. If any of you don’t know, The Troc is like, THE venue in Philadelphia. I am so excited. I’m going to be performing at The Troc! Hot damn!

The girls, were sexy and fun and funny and very, very nice. They made me feel welcome into the group right away. Thank you Mur and CMAR! and J.C. and Earl and Tee and Jenn everyone who sent well-wishes. Thank you to Jared, for everything.

You can check out the Hellcat Girls here: