October 21st, 2004


The Lie

I would not be sad, I would not curl up and cry, I would not allow myself. I would tell our friends what you had threatened and what you had done and none of them would shed one tear for you. I would not drink to you and I would not sing your favorite songs. I would take your number out of my book and erase your birthday on my calendar. In my mind, I would name you bastard, and I would blind myself to your life. I would never forgive you, not ever. I would be furious at you for hurting me, on purpose, for pissing on my life and every moment I have ever loved you. I would call you a coward. I would think you were weak. I would be ashamed of your life.

I would hate you.

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